Last week was only are second class and already so much has happened. Writing my sexual self letter was invigorating. I felt like I was being open and honest about the things that you keep locked inside your shame box. I now feel as though a weight has lifted. I just want to say thank you for helping me find and accept a long lost part of me.
Hearing others sexual self letter was an eye and heart opening experience. Everyone has had something awful happen to them be it Sexual or not. Everyone feels shame and represses their true sexual selves because that is what we have been taught to do. I want to also say to the writers of the three letter that were read aloud, you are not alone, I have been there, we are here for you, you are loved, and are able to love. Although it is much easier to say then believe "what doesn't kill you does make you stronger ".
The Biopsychosocial sexual history interview was something I have never done before. Not being in the program I have never interviewed a patient, or talked about such a taboo subject as sex while giving an interview. I was very nervous, I tried to remember everything I had learned three summers ago in intro to counseling, the interview techniques of Kinsey, plus the readings. I was nervous for nothing, once we eased into the interview it flowed naturally. I feel like I made my interviewee feel comfortable and be able to open up. Which I believe is a sign I'm on the right path, to pursue my career in sex therapy.
I loved the Tiefer book, I love learning about someone else perspectives. I'm a feminist, I won't deny it, maybe that's why I agree with her so much. To look at sex as not a natural act, is a very hard concept to wrap your head around. That being said she makes a good point we need to look at sex from all angles. Hearing her speak in orgasm inc and in another video from the undergrad human sexuality course. You get a sense of how passionate she is, I connected with her through her passion.
My response to both orgasm inc. and the NPR story are the same. Sadly we are a prescription generation and big pharm is mediatizing every tiny issue. Today all information is at our fingertips, travel places faster, get food faster,communicate right away even if we are apart. As a result we are always in search of "the easy fix", mostly in pill form. Big pharm is manipulating us into to thinking that whatever issues we have with our bodies or even minds can be fixed with some miracle serum. Once big pharm made money off of Viagra, they wanted a female version. Women's bodies are not the same as men and as we get older we lose our sex drive its natural, just like rickles. Yet still they try to sell us something that not only has unknown or no benefits but also as server side effects.
Now here comes the feminist Vicky so lookout! One underlying theme I noticed was when talking to the women they were both self-conscious of how the men in their life's judged them. It broke my heart to hear the women on NPR say that her husband was going to divorce her because of her lack of sex drive. In the video the women that got the tubes put in her back, talked about how she wasn't "normal" because she could not orgasm vaginal, but yet she could other ways. That suggested to me like she felt bad for the lack of pleasure she received from penis. Men need to be more understanding our bodies are not the same nor our minds. Im gunna be blunt because that's how I am, how would her husband have felt if she had said she was going to leave him because his penis was small. He would be furious and hurt. Yes I'll look at it from both sides not receiving pleasure from a partner is not fun, but you entered into an agreement for better or for worse and I just hate when people throw divorce around all willy nilly...rant over.
When the professor offered to let me take this course she warned me that all the students knew each other. Having been in the same cohort and classes for years. Now besides being nervous about the course work, I was also worried about fitting in and being accepted. I may not come off that way because I'm very outspoken which does turn some people off and I understand i'm not everyone's cup of tea. So when I walked into class on the first and saw a fellow ginger ( Lauren ) I sat next her thinking yeh at least we have that in common. Then when professor announced the groups for the final project and fellow ginger (Lauren) and Eyebrow perfection ( Emily) raised there hands I was like cool I got the ginger and fellow makeup lover, maybe I might fit in. That first class actually you were all so welcoming and nice thank you.
So last last Wednesday Lauren and Emily texted me about getting together to discuss the project and we decide on sushi. (I promise this story has a point ). I have never had sushi before but I'm brave and gave it a shot it wasn't so bad actually. It was pretty good thanks guys. During dinner we discussed the project and they told me they were going to do one of the field experiences after dinner. They were going to Sex Addicts Anonymous meeting and invited me to go. Which of course I jumped at the chance to do a field experience. Plus it free and a great learning experience for my future career. My first sushi and a Sex Addicts Anonymous meeting what a night! I just wanted to say thank you to Lauren and Emily for inviting me and making me feel welcome.
The sex addicts anonymous meeting
Once we entered we collected some pamphlets and sat down. There were six middle aged men and us three young twenty something females. I got the feeling that females usually didn't come to meetings. I learned a lot during the meeting and it was very informative. The old negative thing I can say is that in a sense it promoted sexual shame. Now don't get me wrong there are things that you can feel shame for like... cheating on your partner, having unsafe sex, letting sex interfere with work and family. However they also feel that you should feel shame for the pleasure you felt, for watching porn, masterbating and much more. I don't agree with that I think most of that is pretty normal, unless you're doing it so much it affects your work and family life. Everyone feels sexual pleasure, watches porn and masterbates, it's silly to feel shame for it.
Woah sorry for the long blog post but like I said so much has happened...see everyone Tuesday
:)
